


The Scars We Share

by KaylaAnne2



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt!Sam, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Love, M/M, Season 13 spoilers, Self-Harm, Support, Supportive Sam, Sweet, comfort cuddles, dean is an amazing brother, hurt!GAbe, lots of hugging, referenced dean comforting sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 18:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19234876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaylaAnne2/pseuds/KaylaAnne2
Summary: Gabe struggles with showing Sam his scars, but Sam shows that he has secrets of his own.





	The Scars We Share

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: referenced self-harm, referenced abuse (by john winchester's hands), self-harm scars, referenced extreme feelings of loneliness/isolation
> 
> If I forgot any warnings, just let me know please through a comment, I want you all to feel comfortable with reading my fics, especially darker ones like this, so if you know you shouldn't read this based on the tags, please don't, protect your own mental health before all else! :)

Sam noticed the scars after getting Gabriel out of his shirt so that he could get into clean clothes after Asmodeus. Gabriel decided to stay as long as the Winchesters didn’t ask anything more of him and only agreed to come back after Sam prayed to him night after night, pleading with him to give him a sign that he’s safe. Gabriel returned tonight and was a mess again. Sam helped him out of his shirt and noticed the overlaying scars, some obviously new and red, some looking healed and old. Sam’s heart broke.

“Gabriel,” Sam whispered, reaching out, but Gabriel flinched.

“Don’t. It’s...I know it’s ugly, Sam, but just don’t judge me. You don’t understand,” Gabriel snapped and Sam teared up. He reached out and held Gabriel’s trembling form to him. Even archangels could feel pain, emotional and physical and Sam just held him, rocking them back and forth.

“I don’t know exactly what you went through Gabe, but I get it,” Sam whispered back.

“No, Sam, you don’t know how it felt to think that no one...that no one…”

“That no one cared enough to save you, to see your pain, to want you. That no one thought you good, that no one thought you clean or pure, that no one cared. I do, Gabe,” Sam said, stepping back and pulling off his pants. Gabriel gasped and Sam refused to let himself flinch when Gabriel brushed his hands over Sam’s scars.

“I stopped after I went to Stanford, when Dean called every day and told me he loved me after seeing these. Dad made it worse, so when he came back, I started again. I know what it’s like Gabe. Not the same as you, but that feeling of helplessness was in me too to some extent.”

“But you don’t have…” Gabriel gestured to the long scars of his arms that indicated an attempt at death.

“No, Gabe, I don’t. Doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it. But Dean stopped me when he saw me bleeding and about to cut there. I didn’t want to be a hunter or anything. It was years before Stanford and I relapsed every time Dad hit...when it got bad. But this isn’t about me. I want you to know that I thank the fucking universe for letting you live. Because I need you, Gabe. These scars prove that you are meant to be here, that the universe wants you here. And I hope you can find some hope. Someday, maybe you’ll know that I love you and that Dean doesn’t want you to leave either, no matter how much of a dick he can be sometimes.”

Gabriel slumped and Sam kissed the scars, placing gentle kisses and saying “I love you” and “thank you for living” on each one. Gabriel shivered and trembled and when he looked up, Gabriel had tears running down his cheeks and chest and Sam kissed those up, too.

“I love you, Gabriel. You are important, not just because of your grace, okay. You know that?” Sam asked and Gabriel nodded, leaning forward to kiss the scars much like Sam did and said, “I’m sorry this happened to you” and “Thank you” to whatever god he was thinking of. Sam pulled Gabriel up after he was done and just held him.

Sam held Gabriel like Dean had done to him when he found the razors bloodied. It was then that Sam knew that he was loved and needed and so he hoped to give that feeling to Gabriel as well, holding him for hours and hours while telling him of every time Gabriel did good and every time Sam thought “I love you” and every time Gabriel was important. Gabriel let out everything and Sam rubbed his back through it all and rocked them slightly as he made sure that Gabriel realized that Sam would never judge him.

“We’ll get through this Gabriel, together. I’ll help you. Dean will help you. Cas will help you. I swear, it will be okay. It will. You’re safe,” Sam whispered and held Gabriel closer as the final tad of tension drained out of Gabriel and Sam that knew he found that feeling of love. Sam held him through the night and looked after him, making sure to keep the darkness away and to let Gabriel feel safe. For the first time in a while - judging by the dark circles and sunken in eyes - Gabriel slept without waking. Slept without nightmares.

And when he awoke to see Sam still holding him, he reached up and kissed Sam on the lips in silent thanks.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You all are amazing! Leave a kudos and comment if you liked, they really make my day!! :)


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